Sometimes we manifest. Right?

There is a place in North Georgia I have only ever visited a few times. It's a scenic lookout with gorgeous views during the fall, especially when all the leaves are changing.

Last time I went, exactly ten years ago, in November 2014, and a couple days after that day trip, I got a call that my father unexpectedly passed away. One moment I was living the young, carefree life of a twenty-something, and the next I was taught how all the sweet moments in life often have some bitter ones on their heels. 

There was a shift for me that season. More loss followed. I threw myself into the hustle of building my budding freelance portfolio and prayerfully made it through to better days. But I haven't been back to see that gorgeous view... until recently. 

I was planning out a fun weekend activity for my family and decided we could drive a couple hours north for a festival, but I knew I'd have to pass the spot along the highway. The one I stood in and felt like wow life is beautiful the day before dark clouds rolled through. And I almost picked another activity. We almost didn't go. I was subconsciously avoiding the spot like it was the opening to a portal of misfortune in my life. But that's silly. 

Right?

When we passed by, I noticed the leaves hadn't quite changed colors yet. This time, I also didn't take any pictures. It looked different. It felt different. My whole life was completely different from that day a decade go. I was in the clear. It was all in my head! Superstitions are dumb! They're not real! 

But maybe sometimes we manifest them? 

Because a few days after the festival, I got another really tough call. One that hurt just as bad as the call from ten years ago, and it's something I'm still processing. 

My brain keeps rationalizing the scenario by highlighting all the sweet moments from the past few months: an amazing family vacation to Costa Rica, some really cool work opportunities, we closed on a new house (!!), Gabriel is learning how to read. My emotional palate was full of sugar. It was time for some bitter balance.

Right?

I haven't been picking up my camera much lately. I miss it, but it demands slower moments of me. This feels counterintuitive when I'm chasing around two small humans. So, here are some phone snaps.